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Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 04:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silveraiComment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.
This list of five given by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
vile_insanity
1) Strong 'typical' morals.
2) 'Mother Hen' relations with others.
3) Resolute belief in many things unsupported by evidence.
4) Giving (in time, effort etc).
5) Bipolar.
1) Strong 'typical' morals.
I used to be pretty uptight with my morals. I've relaxed a bit over the years, but I'm still clear with them. I think my morals basically boil down to "do right by others".*
I think the main thing that's changed is my honesty. I used to be so honest it was painful. I remember the time that gave me a big dilemma with this one guy. He mistakenly thought we were going out (ask me sometime if you want the long story) and I didn't know how to tell him that we weren't, so I lived this semi-lie for two months until I finally "broke up" with him. Now, I happened to be actually going out with Zig at this time - Zig knew all about it. This other guy didn't know anything me being with Zig, but he did think I'd been two-timing him, probably because I never kissed him or showed him girlfriend affection in any way. I steadfastly said I hadn't been two-timing. Well I hadn't been, I hadn't even been going out with him! But therein was my dilemma. This guy had always been pretty emotionally crippled and one step away from depression. So should I tell him that he had been being stupid the whole time and rip away the semblance of his having had a supporting girlfriend? Or should I just let him remember the good times? I finally after a few months came to the conclusion that I wouldn't say anything, that telling him anything would be no kindness to him and would only be because of some feeling I had of needing to be honest and feeling guilty about my lack of honesty. It was a very hard decision to make, but I think it marked a significant change in my approach to my morals.
I still feel the need to be honest and I believe I still am, but I always weigh it up with why I'm being honest. For instance, I would most definitely tell Zig if I "cheated", but I wouldn't necessarily tell a friend's partner if the friend had cheated without weighing up the options, and if after that I felt they should disclose the activity then I would give them plenty of chance to do it themselves.
Hm, interesting that I went into "honest" in depth when talking about my morals. Anyway, my moral sense is usually quite a strong knee-jerk reaction of what I think is "right", and what I think is right is usually aligned with christian values. Experience has taught me to temper them with second thoughts of logicality though. Well, experience and exposure to the atypical morals of a certain friend. On the whole I usually stick to my guns in the end.
*After answering number 2, I think my "do right by others" is mostly based on my very high empathy levels. Read number two for more about that.
2) 'Mother Hen' relations with others.
This is in two parts. The first stems from my "do right by others". If I see someone hurting, or down, or depressed, they need to be helped and I do what I can to help them. They're stranded somewhere and need a lift? Well I either try to do it myself or organise if someone else can. My wiring isn't set up for "what can I get" as my primary goal. It's set up based on empathy. How would I feel in that situation? Is it is a small thing or a big thing? If it's a small thing, then it depends on how I feel myself as to whether I do something about it. If it is a big thing, I will do whatever I can, even if it means changing my plans quite a bit, to help the other person. That contributes to my mother-hen image.
The second is that I worry a lot. Because I worry, I always try to be prepared, plan in advance, and have things "just in case". I do this for myself all the time, any situation that comes up gets analysed in terms of what I need to do, plan, think of. This thought process never switches off, it spills over into what people tell me. So if they tell me they're going skiing, I would start thinking "oh if I did that I would need a warm coat, and gloves, and some muscle relaxant for sore muscles, and something warm to eat afterwards...etc". Add this to the fact that I have a very disorganised mother and have generally observed that other people _don't_ think of things that way, and my automatic impulse is to check if they have thought of x,y,z and don't forget that other thing. I have also observed that most people don't like to feel mothered and controlled, so I smother most of the impulse and only ask them about things that I think they might genuinely not have thought of themselves.
When I think of mothers, I think of someone who is self-sacrificing, and who always is reminding you not to forget something. I think of someone who loves you even if you've annoyed them. I think of someone who is there for you when you need it and usually if you just want it too. I certainly do the first two, and the second two are just naturally part of friendship. I think my mother hen image and actions are quite funny and should be laughed at. But I also think that a mother hen can be just what people need sometimes, and I just happen to be that way.
3) Resolute belief in many things unsupported by evidence.
I have things that support my belief that I will not share, since for many others it still goes beyond their belief. However I have many personal reasons and experiences that lead me to believe/know that stuff is out there, regardless that it has not been supported by current scientific evidence. I do not expect others to believe in stuff that their personal experiences do not support, and I will not push any of these beliefs on them.
Things I believe in include:
God/Supreme Being/Universal Energy - all the same thing to me
Angels
Ascended Masters
Faeries
Auras
Healing energy - although I'm not always comfortable giving or receiving it
Certain elements of "The Secret"
Out of body experiences
Astral traveling
Fortune telling and tarot cards - although there are definitely fakes out there too
I would like to make absolutely clear this one point: I may believe in this stuff, but I don't really want to engage in conversation about it. So please don't deliberately bring it up in conversation, and should the topic come up then please allow me to gracefully bow out of it when I become uncomfortable. Thank you.
4) Giving (in time, effort etc).
This has already been partly covered in the first two things, in the "do right by others" and my strong empathy. It's something I do instinctively, an automatic impulse. Zig has commented on it a few times, not always favourably. I think he tends to view to world more from how it affects him, he doesn't really understand the impulse I have to help others and doesn't always like to see me giving so much when he doesn't see me getting anything back. I don't think I'm completely unselfish in this though, there's a part of me that likes to be seen as being "a good girl" and I do feel ripped off if my giving isn't acknowledged. I don't like people assuming my giving or taking advantage of it, but I don't mind giving if it's not an expectation and the person is aware that it has required something on my part, like my time or my energy. It's nice knowing I've made someone else's life a little easier, and if I look inside and pay attention it's a good feeling I find.
5) Bipolar.
I believe I refuted this many many years ago. Bipolar Disorder is a serious condition and my emotional flexibilty should not be confused with the extremes of being bipolar. However, I will present some proof, otherwise I shall never convince couch psychiatrists of this point.
There are two australian websites I know of that are devoted to depression and helping people with it. They are reachout.com.au and beyondblue.org.au, and they both present the condition of bipolar precisely and succinctly on the following pages.
ReachOut: http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=71
BeyondBlue: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=91
ReachOut states that "Everyone has ups and downs.... However, Bipolar Disorder is a medical condition where you have extreme mood swings (or 'mood episodes') widely out of proportion, or totally unrelated, to what's happening in your life." "Every time you experience symptoms at one extreme for at least 1 week, it is called an episode."
While I do have ups and downs, they are not unrelated to what's happening in my life and not widely out of proportion. They also do not last for a week! Also, having a bit of a down mood is very different from being depressed. I was depressed back in January, as I noted in my LJ, so I have very fresh memories of the difference. I also had not been depressed before that for at least a few years, which is not typical of bipolar people.
Beyond Blue lists the following symptoms.
Common behaviour associated with depression includes:
moodiness that is out of character
increased irritability and frustration
finding it hard to take minor personal criticisms
spending less time with friends and family
loss of interest in food, sex, exercise or other pleasurable activities
being awake throughout the night
increased alcohol and drug use
staying home from work or school
increased physical health complaints like fatigue or pain
being reckless or taking unnecessary risks (e.g. driving fast or dangerously)
slowing down of thoughts and actions.
Common behaviour associated with mania includes:
increased energy
irritability
overactivity
increased spending
increased sex drive
racing thoughts
rapid speech
decreased sleep
grandiose ideas
hallucinations and/or delusions.
On the first list, I have perhaps fatigue. Sometimes slow thoughts, but that's usually when I'm tired or ate particular food so I do not see it as a symptom. On the second list I do get hyperactive sometimes, but I would connect that to overtiredness or particular food, and so again I do not see it as a symptom. One symptom does not equal a diagnosis.
Now, can I stop being associated with bipolar and start being seen as just being very child-like in my emotional flexibilty?
This list of five given by
vile_insanity1) Strong 'typical' morals.
2) 'Mother Hen' relations with others.
3) Resolute belief in many things unsupported by evidence.
4) Giving (in time, effort etc).
5) Bipolar.
1) Strong 'typical' morals.
I used to be pretty uptight with my morals. I've relaxed a bit over the years, but I'm still clear with them. I think my morals basically boil down to "do right by others".*
I think the main thing that's changed is my honesty. I used to be so honest it was painful. I remember the time that gave me a big dilemma with this one guy. He mistakenly thought we were going out (ask me sometime if you want the long story) and I didn't know how to tell him that we weren't, so I lived this semi-lie for two months until I finally "broke up" with him. Now, I happened to be actually going out with Zig at this time - Zig knew all about it. This other guy didn't know anything me being with Zig, but he did think I'd been two-timing him, probably because I never kissed him or showed him girlfriend affection in any way. I steadfastly said I hadn't been two-timing. Well I hadn't been, I hadn't even been going out with him! But therein was my dilemma. This guy had always been pretty emotionally crippled and one step away from depression. So should I tell him that he had been being stupid the whole time and rip away the semblance of his having had a supporting girlfriend? Or should I just let him remember the good times? I finally after a few months came to the conclusion that I wouldn't say anything, that telling him anything would be no kindness to him and would only be because of some feeling I had of needing to be honest and feeling guilty about my lack of honesty. It was a very hard decision to make, but I think it marked a significant change in my approach to my morals.
I still feel the need to be honest and I believe I still am, but I always weigh it up with why I'm being honest. For instance, I would most definitely tell Zig if I "cheated", but I wouldn't necessarily tell a friend's partner if the friend had cheated without weighing up the options, and if after that I felt they should disclose the activity then I would give them plenty of chance to do it themselves.
Hm, interesting that I went into "honest" in depth when talking about my morals. Anyway, my moral sense is usually quite a strong knee-jerk reaction of what I think is "right", and what I think is right is usually aligned with christian values. Experience has taught me to temper them with second thoughts of logicality though. Well, experience and exposure to the atypical morals of a certain friend. On the whole I usually stick to my guns in the end.
*After answering number 2, I think my "do right by others" is mostly based on my very high empathy levels. Read number two for more about that.
2) 'Mother Hen' relations with others.
This is in two parts. The first stems from my "do right by others". If I see someone hurting, or down, or depressed, they need to be helped and I do what I can to help them. They're stranded somewhere and need a lift? Well I either try to do it myself or organise if someone else can. My wiring isn't set up for "what can I get" as my primary goal. It's set up based on empathy. How would I feel in that situation? Is it is a small thing or a big thing? If it's a small thing, then it depends on how I feel myself as to whether I do something about it. If it is a big thing, I will do whatever I can, even if it means changing my plans quite a bit, to help the other person. That contributes to my mother-hen image.
The second is that I worry a lot. Because I worry, I always try to be prepared, plan in advance, and have things "just in case". I do this for myself all the time, any situation that comes up gets analysed in terms of what I need to do, plan, think of. This thought process never switches off, it spills over into what people tell me. So if they tell me they're going skiing, I would start thinking "oh if I did that I would need a warm coat, and gloves, and some muscle relaxant for sore muscles, and something warm to eat afterwards...etc". Add this to the fact that I have a very disorganised mother and have generally observed that other people _don't_ think of things that way, and my automatic impulse is to check if they have thought of x,y,z and don't forget that other thing. I have also observed that most people don't like to feel mothered and controlled, so I smother most of the impulse and only ask them about things that I think they might genuinely not have thought of themselves.
When I think of mothers, I think of someone who is self-sacrificing, and who always is reminding you not to forget something. I think of someone who loves you even if you've annoyed them. I think of someone who is there for you when you need it and usually if you just want it too. I certainly do the first two, and the second two are just naturally part of friendship. I think my mother hen image and actions are quite funny and should be laughed at. But I also think that a mother hen can be just what people need sometimes, and I just happen to be that way.
3) Resolute belief in many things unsupported by evidence.
I have things that support my belief that I will not share, since for many others it still goes beyond their belief. However I have many personal reasons and experiences that lead me to believe/know that stuff is out there, regardless that it has not been supported by current scientific evidence. I do not expect others to believe in stuff that their personal experiences do not support, and I will not push any of these beliefs on them.
Things I believe in include:
God/Supreme Being/Universal Energy - all the same thing to me
Angels
Ascended Masters
Faeries
Auras
Healing energy - although I'm not always comfortable giving or receiving it
Certain elements of "The Secret"
Out of body experiences
Astral traveling
Fortune telling and tarot cards - although there are definitely fakes out there too
I would like to make absolutely clear this one point: I may believe in this stuff, but I don't really want to engage in conversation about it. So please don't deliberately bring it up in conversation, and should the topic come up then please allow me to gracefully bow out of it when I become uncomfortable. Thank you.
4) Giving (in time, effort etc).
This has already been partly covered in the first two things, in the "do right by others" and my strong empathy. It's something I do instinctively, an automatic impulse. Zig has commented on it a few times, not always favourably. I think he tends to view to world more from how it affects him, he doesn't really understand the impulse I have to help others and doesn't always like to see me giving so much when he doesn't see me getting anything back. I don't think I'm completely unselfish in this though, there's a part of me that likes to be seen as being "a good girl" and I do feel ripped off if my giving isn't acknowledged. I don't like people assuming my giving or taking advantage of it, but I don't mind giving if it's not an expectation and the person is aware that it has required something on my part, like my time or my energy. It's nice knowing I've made someone else's life a little easier, and if I look inside and pay attention it's a good feeling I find.
5) Bipolar.
I believe I refuted this many many years ago. Bipolar Disorder is a serious condition and my emotional flexibilty should not be confused with the extremes of being bipolar. However, I will present some proof, otherwise I shall never convince couch psychiatrists of this point.
There are two australian websites I know of that are devoted to depression and helping people with it. They are reachout.com.au and beyondblue.org.au, and they both present the condition of bipolar precisely and succinctly on the following pages.
ReachOut: http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=71
BeyondBlue: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=91
ReachOut states that "Everyone has ups and downs.... However, Bipolar Disorder is a medical condition where you have extreme mood swings (or 'mood episodes') widely out of proportion, or totally unrelated, to what's happening in your life." "Every time you experience symptoms at one extreme for at least 1 week, it is called an episode."
While I do have ups and downs, they are not unrelated to what's happening in my life and not widely out of proportion. They also do not last for a week! Also, having a bit of a down mood is very different from being depressed. I was depressed back in January, as I noted in my LJ, so I have very fresh memories of the difference. I also had not been depressed before that for at least a few years, which is not typical of bipolar people.
Beyond Blue lists the following symptoms.
Common behaviour associated with depression includes:
moodiness that is out of character
increased irritability and frustration
finding it hard to take minor personal criticisms
spending less time with friends and family
loss of interest in food, sex, exercise or other pleasurable activities
being awake throughout the night
increased alcohol and drug use
staying home from work or school
increased physical health complaints like fatigue or pain
being reckless or taking unnecessary risks (e.g. driving fast or dangerously)
slowing down of thoughts and actions.
Common behaviour associated with mania includes:
increased energy
irritability
overactivity
increased spending
increased sex drive
racing thoughts
rapid speech
decreased sleep
grandiose ideas
hallucinations and/or delusions.
On the first list, I have perhaps fatigue. Sometimes slow thoughts, but that's usually when I'm tired or ate particular food so I do not see it as a symptom. On the second list I do get hyperactive sometimes, but I would connect that to overtiredness or particular food, and so again I do not see it as a symptom. One symptom does not equal a diagnosis.
Now, can I stop being associated with bipolar and start being seen as just being very child-like in my emotional flexibilty?
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-05 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 10:16 am (UTC)My Mum is pretty well the postergirl for undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and I get so frustrated when people just use it to refer to someone's perfectly normal mood swings. Just like I get pissed off by people who seem to think the term anorexic is a synonym for slenderness.
P.