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My Gran is going into a nursing home.
A place came up in a nursing home for Gran. She goes in this Sunday. Hey! that's tomorrow. *blinks*. So, now Mum can have her life back a little. For those of you who don't know, Mum has been living-in caring Gran for almost 4 years now. Gran has severe Alzheimer's, behaves like a little kid, and has only 10% vision (black mostly, but perfect vision down a small tunnel). She walks around with a hunched back. Sometimes she can walk fine, and other times she needs two walking sticks to get around. Sometimes she remembers that she's been living in her house for decades, and sometimes she won't have a clue where she is and thinks she's in a stranger's house. She will argue in way that's impossible to win against. For example, she found the back door locked (it was to keep the new kitten in) and thought the kitten had been locked out and it was horrible that the kitten was out there. Mum said it was to keep the kitten in, to which Gran promptly said Mum was horrible for keeping the kitten inside and it was horrible that the kitten was inside. In Gran's mind, she'd been saying that the whole time. How can you win an arguement when Gran keeps doing a complete flip of what she was saying, and then thinks she's been saying that all along?
It was a little better and worse this year. Gran's condition worsened so that Mum couldn't leave her alone for even 30 min, thus tying Mum to Gran and causing her to have no real life of her own. Mum did manage to get some paperwork completed though, so she could have a lady come twice a week to shower Gran, and could drop Gran off at aged day care on Wednesday and Saturday mornings so she could visit Dad and do grocery shopping and such. Plus she could look around for nursing homes and puts Gran's name on some of the lists.
So, Gran's name was on the top of the list, a spot became open, and Gran goes in tomorrow. Mum has her own life back! Mum feels a little guilty because she feels like she's quitting on her mum, but she also has been feeling trapped for four years and enough is enough. Mum is a strong woman, much stronger than she appears. I couldn't stand Gran, I refused to babysit her at all. I would visit and phone mum lots instead to provide support. My bro did the opposite and would babysit Gran on occasion so Mum could go to special things that were important to her. I feel really happy for Mum to have her life back :)
As for Gran, I have long held that she has no real life either, and would be much happy with the angels already. I believe in angels and stuff, that sentence is not as callous as it first appears. At the beginning, I was split 50-50 about wishing Gran would pass over and feeling horrible for thinking that, but I have long resolved my guilty feelings about that. It has been a long time, for everyone involved.
It was a little better and worse this year. Gran's condition worsened so that Mum couldn't leave her alone for even 30 min, thus tying Mum to Gran and causing her to have no real life of her own. Mum did manage to get some paperwork completed though, so she could have a lady come twice a week to shower Gran, and could drop Gran off at aged day care on Wednesday and Saturday mornings so she could visit Dad and do grocery shopping and such. Plus she could look around for nursing homes and puts Gran's name on some of the lists.
So, Gran's name was on the top of the list, a spot became open, and Gran goes in tomorrow. Mum has her own life back! Mum feels a little guilty because she feels like she's quitting on her mum, but she also has been feeling trapped for four years and enough is enough. Mum is a strong woman, much stronger than she appears. I couldn't stand Gran, I refused to babysit her at all. I would visit and phone mum lots instead to provide support. My bro did the opposite and would babysit Gran on occasion so Mum could go to special things that were important to her. I feel really happy for Mum to have her life back :)
As for Gran, I have long held that she has no real life either, and would be much happy with the angels already. I believe in angels and stuff, that sentence is not as callous as it first appears. At the beginning, I was split 50-50 about wishing Gran would pass over and feeling horrible for thinking that, but I have long resolved my guilty feelings about that. It has been a long time, for everyone involved.