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The thing about sharing life happenings.
I used to never tell anyone about anything in my life.
When I was little, I just never really "socialised" per se. Conversations weren't about what was happening in my life, since all that was happening was school and me passing time by myself (parents don't count) at home. That and the fact that I got taught my mum how to keep secrets really early. Dad was, and still is, kind of deaf, and they would have to talk at a normal to loud volume. My bedroom was right at the end of the passage. The passage acted like a funnel, and I could hear every word they spoke at the table where Dad spent most of his relaxing time. Since they talked about everything from finance to people in the neighborhood, I was taught that stuff like that stays in the family and doesn't go outside it. Which is fair enough. Plus I was always brought up spiritually, like angels and faeries and energy and stuff, and most country folk back then woulda thought you were cuckoo if you brought it up, so that was another secret. Oh, and I was a bedwetter, way past the time any normal kid would have stopped. Like, the last time was when I was 14. Um, yeah.....just forget you ever read that.
So there were many secrets to keep, plus I never learnt that people were interested in what you did. Stuff I did was never exciting or interesting enough to bring up to tell people, surely. This trend continued for ages, and still kinda persists a little today.
Oh sure, I've got interesting stuff to say now, if I ever wrote it down, or visited people more before it became old news. I still learning to share a little more though. See, my observations of people, back when I was interested in observing people, led me to find that there are those that share every little scrap of what is happening to them. About 75% of the time or higher, these things never actually eventuated. Things like moving house, getting a job, dumping a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. So as a reaction to these observations I shut up about stuff happening in my life until it actually happened or had happened for a few weeks and was now a sure thing.... by which time it was no longer current news and so still didn't get shared.
Spot a pattern? Everything conspired to make me a listener, not a talker. I'm still mostly a listener, although I'm a little better at giving advice if asked for it now, and I have a lot more to say than I used to. I _do_ share things a little more freely now-a-days too, even if it's still a bit like pulling teeth sometimes. I really should force myself to use my livejournal more often.
The thing about livejournal, is I feel like I should make a maximum of one post a day, or at least have several hours between posts, and I also feel that I should not combine completely different topics, like say this one and the post before this. Well, I'm going to force myself to take a bit of a leaf out of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sonnlich's journal and just make two posts about two different things, even if they're only minutes apart. It makes sense, after all, and it's really silly for me not to, because that's how most of the stuff I have to say never makes it into my journal.
When I was little, I just never really "socialised" per se. Conversations weren't about what was happening in my life, since all that was happening was school and me passing time by myself (parents don't count) at home. That and the fact that I got taught my mum how to keep secrets really early. Dad was, and still is, kind of deaf, and they would have to talk at a normal to loud volume. My bedroom was right at the end of the passage. The passage acted like a funnel, and I could hear every word they spoke at the table where Dad spent most of his relaxing time. Since they talked about everything from finance to people in the neighborhood, I was taught that stuff like that stays in the family and doesn't go outside it. Which is fair enough. Plus I was always brought up spiritually, like angels and faeries and energy and stuff, and most country folk back then woulda thought you were cuckoo if you brought it up, so that was another secret. Oh, and I was a bedwetter, way past the time any normal kid would have stopped. Like, the last time was when I was 14. Um, yeah.....just forget you ever read that.
So there were many secrets to keep, plus I never learnt that people were interested in what you did. Stuff I did was never exciting or interesting enough to bring up to tell people, surely. This trend continued for ages, and still kinda persists a little today.
Oh sure, I've got interesting stuff to say now, if I ever wrote it down, or visited people more before it became old news. I still learning to share a little more though. See, my observations of people, back when I was interested in observing people, led me to find that there are those that share every little scrap of what is happening to them. About 75% of the time or higher, these things never actually eventuated. Things like moving house, getting a job, dumping a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. So as a reaction to these observations I shut up about stuff happening in my life until it actually happened or had happened for a few weeks and was now a sure thing.... by which time it was no longer current news and so still didn't get shared.
Spot a pattern? Everything conspired to make me a listener, not a talker. I'm still mostly a listener, although I'm a little better at giving advice if asked for it now, and I have a lot more to say than I used to. I _do_ share things a little more freely now-a-days too, even if it's still a bit like pulling teeth sometimes. I really should force myself to use my livejournal more often.
The thing about livejournal, is I feel like I should make a maximum of one post a day, or at least have several hours between posts, and I also feel that I should not combine completely different topics, like say this one and the post before this. Well, I'm going to force myself to take a bit of a leaf out of
sonnlich's journal and just make two posts about two different things, even if they're only minutes apart. It makes sense, after all, and it's really silly for me not to, because that's how most of the stuff I have to say never makes it into my journal.