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Update of me
Thursday, May 24th, 2007 12:30 pm
Hello!
Firstly, you all really should follow that link in my last post. Zig saved it for me to watch when I came home the other night, so it is endorsed for laughs from both of us.
Secondly, events have transpired since Monday evening that have ended up these last few days with me looking at some internal things that were holding me back and hopefully clearing them. I felt rejuvenated this morning which is not a feeling I've had here in my normal life for quite a while. I hope my enthusiam carries through and I can maintain what I know will keep me this way.
Hey hey, I know I bore people incessantly with every word I say about "Zig" and "proposal" etc, but heck. June 11th is the 9th anniversary, and it's just around the corner....*nervous/excited/scared* 2 and a half weeks to go. Alas, but through conversation I won't bore you with I was all about a restaurant for yay anniversay and he was all about no leave it with me. Now, I tell him, that's putting me in rather a horrible position, because how am I supposed do my usual thing of "putting the proposal out of my mind and just enjoy what I have with him in that given moment so as not to ruin nice moments with waiting/wishing/wanting/depressingness" on THAT particular day? He just smiled and snuggled.
oh dear. On one hand yay I think "know it's going to happen" and yay him and yay. On the other it's all don't want get get hopes up just in case I get crushed and then I'll drag both of us down from a nice moment into my depths of horrible despair and wallowing. ARGH!
Ooooh, random dribbling typing, been a while since I've done that. But hey, all jumbled up with thoughts and feelings and stuff oh god what if he doesn't but I know he will and oh man I love him so much and just want to be with him always and argh!
okok, before I keep going with that... *posts*
Firstly, you all really should follow that link in my last post. Zig saved it for me to watch when I came home the other night, so it is endorsed for laughs from both of us.
Secondly, events have transpired since Monday evening that have ended up these last few days with me looking at some internal things that were holding me back and hopefully clearing them. I felt rejuvenated this morning which is not a feeling I've had here in my normal life for quite a while. I hope my enthusiam carries through and I can maintain what I know will keep me this way.
Hey hey, I know I bore people incessantly with every word I say about "Zig" and "proposal" etc, but heck. June 11th is the 9th anniversary, and it's just around the corner....*nervous/excited/scared* 2 and a half weeks to go. Alas, but through conversation I won't bore you with I was all about a restaurant for yay anniversay and he was all about no leave it with me. Now, I tell him, that's putting me in rather a horrible position, because how am I supposed do my usual thing of "putting the proposal out of my mind and just enjoy what I have with him in that given moment so as not to ruin nice moments with waiting/wishing/wanting/depressingness" on THAT particular day? He just smiled and snuggled.
oh dear. On one hand yay I think "know it's going to happen" and yay him and yay. On the other it's all don't want get get hopes up just in case I get crushed and then I'll drag both of us down from a nice moment into my depths of horrible despair and wallowing. ARGH!
Ooooh, random dribbling typing, been a while since I've done that. But hey, all jumbled up with thoughts and feelings and stuff oh god what if he doesn't but I know he will and oh man I love him so much and just want to be with him always and argh!
okok, before I keep going with that... *posts*
