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Feeling very drained and sooky lately, especially in the mornings before getting to work. Still able to function properly at work and get shit done and interact with customers properly, etc. But then drained and sooky again when I get home at night after work or whatever I was doing that night.

Got draining things that I'm supposed to be doing, but so drained already that I just don't want to drain further.
1) I gotta type minutes up from a meeting from three weeks ago, but they're so full of political drama BS that I simply have no motivation for submerging myself into that.
2) I gotta send a polite questioning email to a possible wedding venue regarding a pricing bait and switch, which requires very careful wording, cos things go a lot smoother if you stay friendly with people who are yet to provide the service to you.
3) I gotta reinstall Windows on my puter sometime, since I installed a nasty rootkit virus on there a while back, and I got rid of it a week back but I still don't trust my machine fully anymore without wiping the Windows slate clean. Reinstalling Windows always sucks. Mega.
I got a bunch of other fiddly stuff to do too.

I think maybe I've just been doing too much over the last few weeks. Also having too many late bedtimes with too much broken sleep - I was functioning fine before, but now that all the big events are over, my body has gone "right, NOW YOU REST M-KAY" or something. So it's throwing a hissy fit and only behaving when it knows it has to. Except it's being stupid and not giving me the rest it's demanding. I actually got an early bedtime last Saturday, with solid sleep until a decent time in the morning, and I still ended up having two naps on Sunday just to function! I guess one long solid sleep isn't enough to make up for everything. But I'm so tired as well as drained and sooky for the last several mornings, and then I'm still drained and sooky at night but not tired anymore, and so even if I go to bed I find it hard to get to sleep and my brain won't shut up. Which is unusual for me, I don't usually have a brain that won't shut up at night. Worst is when you wake up in the middle of the night with a brain that won't shut up. And then the alarm in the morning insistently reminding me that I gotta get up and get ready for work, but that's when I'm tired and would totally be able to sleep more! It's like jet lag, except I haven't enjoyed any holiday in another timezone.

I can't blame the heat for my drained-ness or lack of sleep-ness. For some reason the heat hasn't bothered me at all, like water off a duck's back. For at least the last month, it might as well been a solid 20 degrees every day for all that my body has noticed. Previously I have felt the heat a bit more than that. But whatever. It's the cold that really gets to me, I can't stand it. It's curious, being with Zig, cos his thermostat is the complete opposite to mine, he suffers in the heat but doesn't notice the cold.

Blargh. *mope*
silverai: (Default)
Well! I sort of wanted to wait until the 500 day mark before gushing about just wedding stuff and nothing else, but a forum this morning set me off thinking about a post, and so here we here at the 506 day mark instead. How cool is that, 506? I've been counting using my Google countdown since before 1000 days, and now it's half that :D

Today's semi-angst is brought to you by: the guest list. Read more )

TL;DR
I write a whole big post about angst that wedding guest lists give, even though it's only mild for now, it just happens to be what I'm thinking about these last few days. And it all doesn't matter yet until May/June - and even then may not matter until up to six months before the wedding in June 2011.

(no subject)

Monday, January 18th, 2010 06:05 pm
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There was a customer in the shop this afternoon, wearing a white shirt with lots of different style christian crosses on it, and lots of little holes all over that is obviously part of the design. 

It was a very holy shirt.

True story.

Good Things

Saturday, January 16th, 2010 01:00 pm
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Close friends are flying out this weekend to travel around in the northern hemisphere for a month. Amusingly, they get back at the same time as two other friends are flying back in from Canada for a visit. After one of the two friends inquired about a netbook that I was selling at work, I offered my netbook for a loan. It left my care into their's on Thursday night, and I already have a netbook-shaped ache in my heart, even though I don't actually use it all that much. I find that amusing also.

Going to see James Morrison tonight with three friends. Initially it was going to be two friends, but then one thought they wouldn't be able to make it and I organised someone else for their ticket. Then they could make it after all, so I called up Mundaring Weir Hotel and organised another ticket. So now it's me and three guys squeezing into my little two door Ford Festiva Trio. Hilarity! Looking forward to it, James Morrison always presents a really good show. Apparently it's a motown theme, which is good, because that's one of the styles that my big band apparently plays, except I have no idea what that genre actually is other than the fact it fits well with all the other styles we play. So now I get to find out better.

Going away with Zig for two nights next weekend for my birthday, at a lovely lovely place in Dwellingup. My birthday is on the Sunday (24th) and I've arranged the Monday off work, so we are staying Sat and Sun nights, coming back up on Monday afternoon, sleeping in our own bed Mon night, and heading out to the traditional annual Australia Day festivities at our friends' house on Tuesday. So quite looking forward to next weekend too, which will be like a four day long weekend for me. No big party for my birthday this year, I already celebrated last weekend with dinner, strippers, and high tea.

The Aust Day tradition at my friends' started back when they lived walking distance from the foreshore in Vic Park. Then they moved to Glen Forrest in the hills, but since we had all mostly tired of the fireworks by then over the years, everyone still just kept rocking up at their place every year :D The Aust Day festivities also always has the home-made spit there - the spit that lives in our backyard was in fact first created for Aust Day in Vic Park years ago, and goes back and forth from our house and theirs' upon need - and goes from lunch until late into the night. Good food, good company, excellent.

I would like to plug www.offbeatbride.com as an awesome website, as the last time I did so was a while ago now. I'm also joined up with the Offbeat Bride Tribe community on the Ning networking site. For me, it's so interesting what different people do in whacky ways or traditional with just a few changes, so that I'll quite likely keep looking at it even after I finally get married. I am especially grateful to the website, as it recently reminded me of the fact that bridesmaids do not have to wear dresses (a bride's attendants were wearing pencil skirts and nice blouses), which I had not thought of at all for 2 1/2 yrs even though it's so obvious, and which has solved the bridal party attire dilemma that I've been having. Also while I'm on the wedding topic, I am super excited to get to check out a possible ceremony/reception venue in the next few weeks which has such glorious possibilities and is such a good price. I don't want to jinx it by saying anymore before I check it out though. Excitement!

Weekend synopsis

Monday, January 11th, 2010 01:41 pm
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I had a fabulous weekend. Yummy dinner with friends at The Moon cafe on Saturday, followed by Xotica. There was like a weird time blackhole effect at Xotica or something, I got a genuine shock when I looked at the time and realised three and a half hours had passed, since it felt like an hour maximum! I liked all the girls, even the ones I thought I didn't like initially. I found that the good looking girls had average moves but you didn't care cos of the looks, and the average looking girls had excellent moves, which made you forget everything else. I ended up spending $30 in tipping dollars by the end of the night. I think I might like to go again sometime.

High tea at the C restaraunt on Sunday was lovely. They had a number of tasty little goodies, and we were all too stuffed by the end to finish everything. A little like dim sum, everything is so small in size that you feel like you haven't eaten anything, but you've actually eaten an amazing amount and your stomach is protesting your taste buds. The profiteroles there were divine - I never realised they could taste like that before. Plus I've got a craving for fresh smoked salmon now - they had little two-tier finger sandwiches with salmon in them that I couldn't resist and ate more than my share of. The view was gorgeous too. After high tea, I moseyed down to the ferris wheel on the foreshore and had a ride with yet more glorious views of the river and Perth. Then after I got home, I went out again to dinner with Zig. All in all a marvellous time.

It doesn't stop there though, I just got a payrise today too! Everything is just better and better :D

Currently looking forward to catching up with SBC highschool friends tomorrow night, two nights stay down near Dwellingup in a few weeks, and Australia Day which is traditionally at a friend's house every year with good company and good food. More plans in the months ahead for other fabulous times too.
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Looking forward to the weekend after work today. Dashing off to my bro's to get my hair dyed, then out to dinner at The Moon cafe with lovely friends. Strippers after that, for the first time - never been before. Then tomorrow afternoon I step foot into the C revolving restaurant for the first time to enjoy high tea in lovely company. First experiences always have rosier-coloured glasses than any time after.

I have this urge to dress-up nicely to go out tonight, but I also don't want to encourage guys at the strippers to mistake me for someone they can grab at. Wardrobe dilemma! I have no doubt I'll figure out something though, and whatever the consequences, it's all part of the experience. As long as I avoid the slutty look completely, since that would just be inviting trouble! I've also been on short sleep all week, and will certainly be shorter after tonight. Will be doing my damnedest to sleep-in tomorrow morning, for sure! No regrets! Plans to spend a lot more tonight that I normally would - cocktails from bars tend to be costly, plus a few tipping dollars for strippers - and I might even end up catching a taxi, which is a rare occurance for me!

All in all, it should be a fantastic weekend :D
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Brain a little scattered so I'm going for point form.

*Got Xmas holidays off, even though my shop was open in that time. Enjoyed lazing around a lot and wearing funky coloured nail polish.
*Managed to maintain my weight over Xmas and not gain any while indulging in lots of yummy stuff, by being smart and selective about it.
*Got back into the groove of work very easily, almost like I haven't been away except with the benefit of a really good break.
*Think I have found an excellently priced venue for wedding stuff that does the thing I wanted for guests. Very exciting, as all my research before indicated I'd have to give it up. Get to check the venue out in a few weeks, not sharing any more than that with anyone until after then.
*Birthday coming up on the 24th, but close friends flying out before then, so moved the festivities up to this weekend.
*Discovered last weekend that there was an 8th book in the Incarnations of Immortality series by Piers Anthony. Nox! Reading at traffic lights isn't smart, but hard to resist.
*Curling ribbon is a marvelous creation.
*My glasses broke yesterday morning. Big long story short, they were 12 days within warranty and I managed to get things organised so they were fixed yesterday afternoon. Being able to see properly is a good thing.
*Colouring-in is very time consuming, but greatly enjoyable and relaxing.
*Planning to go to the eastern states sometime within the next six months to visit a dear friend of mine. Looking forward to both seeing her and checking out far off Australian places.
*Friends currently in Canada are arriving in Perth for a visit in a bit over a month. Be good to see them again!
*Zig is awesome.
*The Steam holiday sale was hard to resist and involved me spending $200+ on games. I'm mostly a pirate cos I don't agree with the price of the games, but damn, that sale was good. And costly to my credit card!
* Got two Threadless t-shirts in the mail yesterday that I ordered back in December. Very happy with the purchase.

INVITES - comment/contact me for more details if interested.
*Everyone invited to come to a strip club with me on Saturday 9th 8:30pm - I imagine mostly male friends will come, but interested ladies welcome too.
*Everyone invited to come to dinner with me in Northbridge on Saturday 9th 7:15pm - venue yet to be decided. RSVP preferred so appropiate sized table can be booked.
*All lady friends (and their lady friends too) invited to come to the C restaraunt (it revolves!) for High Tea on Sunday 10th 2:30pm. RSVP needed by Friday, restaraunt requires it.
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One week from now, I get an entire week off work. Hoorah! Extra awesome because the shop is staying open for that short gap between Xmas and New Years, and I still get it off! Someone else will be covering those three days at my store.

In the last week, Zig has volunteered ideas about the wedding, regarding photos and the honeymoon. This is fantastic! Usually I tell him what I'm thinking, and ask him what he thinks about it, cos he has not previously had any ideas or cared too much about it. So it's so wonderful to have him start meeting me in the middle :D

I put on a skirt this morning that used to sit on my waist from memory. So I put it back up to my waist and pinched the excess material. According to this highly scientific method, I have probably lost about four inches around my tummy.

Last night I was sitting on the floor and flopped back onto my back. Instead of meeting floor, my spine met the leg of the bottom half of a pedestal house fan. This was a solid two inch high, one and half inch across bar of metal. OW! my poor spine :(

My parents have a huge apricot tree, that fruits a shitload of apricots in early December every year. I decided I was going to preserve some this year (like brandied cherries) and maybe get Zig to make some sort of not-wine not-beer fizzy alcoholic drink out of the rest. The drawback to this yummy plan is that I have to process them all. Cut off bird pecks and any crappy bits, and halve them and pit them. This takes a while. I did about two mixing bowls worth on Wednesday night, which took me just over two hours. I estimate that I've only processed about a quarter of the apricots I have. Eep! Next chance to do them is Sunday - I HAVE to do them then, since Mum says you've only got about two weeks once they're picked (and you gotta keep them refridgerated that whole time or they go pooey within a day or two) and they were fresh picked two Mondays ago.

Family Xmas gathering tomorrow, gotta get there immediately after work as they'll have started already by then. But gotta start without me, cos Mum & Dad have to leave about 7pm to get enough sleep before waking up way early for the Sunday markets. I already made chocolate truffles and rum balls last night as my thing to take, along with wrapping as many presents as I had. No chance to do more apricots though, alas. But since I'm busy tonight, and have an appointment before work tomorrow, I think I got the really important things done. Only a few more presents to wrap now, hopefully can find 10 minutes to do it!

(no subject)

Saturday, December 12th, 2009 12:30 am
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***Posted about 4-5 hours after actually typing it. Only just got home! Then off to bed quicksmart, not much time to get some sleep before the alarm goes off in the morning.

Currently sitting in the alleyway down the side of Victoria Hall in Fremantle with a bunch of other band members (Rush Hour Big Band). We're scheduled to play for some sort of council Xmas dinner thingy. It's a private gig that the band has been especially booked for. Kind of cool! Most of us have $3 Red Dot Christmassy ties on, to jazz up our usual black shirts, black pants outfit.

I discovered a simple recipe that I'm hankering to try out, if I can just get the time to make it and a group of people to eat the end product at the same time. It's just three ingredients: coconut, sweetened condensed milk, and vanilla essence. Then you bake them. Sounds good! They're called coconut drops - there appears to be all sorts of complicated recipes out there, but I like this simple one. I wanna add chopped up glace cherries too, I think it will be delish - mmmm.

Tonight is the first night of Six Big Things in five nights. First, this gig, meaning a late night on a work night. Then tomorrow after work I wanna make trifle, then I got work's Xmas dinner, then I got a housewarming/Xmas party to go to. Sunday day is fairly free, unless I end up going shopping, cos I do kinda need clothes that fit and stuff. Sunday night, the brass band I'm in is playing at the Kalamunda Xmas Carols. Monday after work I have the Xmas wind-up for a group I'm part of, and Tuesday is the Xmas wind-up for the brass band. So that's all the big things! Then next night I just have my regular dinner meet-up with some friends, but no rehearsal for the big band. Thursday night I finally get to go home and have dinner and snuggles with Zig again.

My family usually always has our Xmas gathering on Boxing Day lunch. It works really well for us, just all bring food for lunch, and then relax and graze right through dinner time until late. Unfortunately, this annual plan won't work this year. One of my brothers has started work out Kalgoorlie, and he works two weeks on, one week off. The timing is really terrible, he flies out on the 23rd, and doesn't get back until after New Year's. So in order to have a gathering with everyone there, we've had to shift it up to Saturday night 19th. It's not ideal, as I won't get there until 3pm or so, and the parents have to leave about 7pm cos they have the Sunday markets next day really early. But it works, and having all the family there is important. Luckily, Zig's family is fine - it's always Xmas Eve dinner, and it still is this year. The only complication there is that I'm working on Xmas eve, and have no idea yet if the boss will ok the shop closing earlier that day. I've petitioned him, and presented several reasons. Now I just have to wait wait wait for a decision to be made. Until then, I can't create any Christmas Opening Hours signs. I usually like to get them done about this time.

I decorated the shop with last year's tinsel (4 metres) and a roll of green curling ribbon that cost me $2.50 for 80 metres. I only used about 40 metres, and sent the rest up to Osborne Park for that shop. It looks really effective! I'm planning on using curling ribbon the decorate the house next year for the annual Halloween party (Masquerade theme planned). I reckon it will look fantastic, and it will be a good trial run for wedding decoration plans using curling ribbon.
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Apparently I've lost 7kg since August now. I know I should go clothes shopping, but first I was insanely busy for like an entire month or more, and now I can't be stuffed cos I'm somewhat burnt-out to the degree that work is mostly happening on automatic, and I'm spending any time I can at home doing nothing, barely even bothering to play computer games. Went to bed early last night because I couldn't be stuffed doing anything, and just lay there until I finally went to sleep. Was just so hard to care about anything last night, and even this morning until well into this afternoon. I've got a little bit of gumption back for now, nursing it so that I can finish the day alright. Skipping band tonight, even though I'm so committed to it. Being able to function properly at work tomorrow while surviving burnt-out status is more important.

I bought one pair of smaller sized op-shop pants about 3-4 weeks ago, and I've been making my wardrobe stretch as far as possible. But even my tops aren't quite fitting like they should - that favourite stripey purple one used to fit like a dream and look awesome, and now it kind of looks shapeless and doesn't do me any favours. I desparately need to go bra-shopping, what with regular lymph node drainage and losing weight, they're more droopy than they used to be, and a little smaller. But THE shopping I hate the most is bra-shopping. Not only does it suck for pretty much all females anyway, but I've got the added complication of more than an entire size difference between each breast, plus an inch dip in my rib cage in the middle of my chest, right exactly where bras are supposed to sit against and are designed to get support from. So it's a bitch to try to get something that fits, supports properly despite the dip, and doesn't make me fall out. Yeah, I know, too much information. Whatever, just trust me, it sucks totally and utterly. So it's a very draining and time consuming experience to shop for pants, and even more draining and time consuming than that for bras, and added to that I need at least one or two more tops. And I just don't have the effort available to expend, even though now I have the time. Plus with Christmas coming up, I'm worried about my credit card getting out of control - if I'm good and keep the debt control the way it is, I've promised myself that I can have a trip to Melbourne in the first half of next year. And I really want to do that.

Two key players will be back at work next week after being away for ages, so after they get caught up, I'm really looking forward to being able to take a day or two off. There's been a few times lately where the only reason I've made it to work is that there isn't really any other alternative right now (unless it was drastically needed). I just wanna lay on the couch at home, stare at the ceiling, and think of absolutely nothing. That would be soooo good.
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Ye olde Annual Halloween Party was a smash hit! Plenty of people turned up, including some new ones, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves a lot. The house was decorated prettily, costumes were worn, and I even managed to make a good music playlist! Food was better than ever before, with pumpkin/potato/leek soup, lasagne, trifle, and chocolate covered marshmallows, plus all the usual salad, spit roast, and fruit salad. Even the debut of the food table in the loungeroom instead of the other room was a smashing success and worked much better.

As Zig's mum commented the next day, "You're getting very well practised at this."

I was particularly pleased with the trifle. I hadn't made it since highschool. Various recipes indicated that fresh fruit would be a good addition, so I put that in between the jelly and custard layers. First layer was strawberries, second layer was cherries, and the top layer was strawberries, blueberries, and passionfruit. I chose to use butterscotch schnapps on the sponge, which turned out to be an excellent choice. I estimate that I made about six litres of trifle, and there was just one litre left at night's end. Hoorah!

Photos can be found here, although they're mostly of the backyard crowd, since Zig and a few others were playing around with the fact that his awesome camera performs well in dark situations.
http://zorch.maow.myip.org/pictures/091031/

Next year's theme: Masquerade! Very much looking forward to it.

Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 10:57 am
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Apparently I facebooked, SMSed, and emailed, but completely forgot to LJ about my Halloween party. Whups! So here it is, mostly cut and paste from Facebook:
When: Saturday, 31 October from 5:30pm
Where: Zig & Helen's Place

What:
It's on again: Food, Drinks, People, Costumes (if I'm lucky), and all round Good Fun.

This year will have the favourite spit roast again, with the addition of Zig's fabulous homebrew beer. Red wine will also be available, but it will be shop-bought. I figure dinner about 7-8pm, since that's when the spit is usually ready.

Costumes, as always, are appreciated but not mandatory. Even if you don't go the whole hog, a pair of devil horns or some random facepaint, or even a funny hat would still be neat. Costumes this year are just the straight Halloween theme.

Bean bags and some airbeds are available for those too drunk to drive, but getting the good ones is a case of first come first served on the night.

A common courtesy sense of manners will be expected of you and anyone you bring. Warning of any extra people is appreciated for catering and common courtesy purposes.

IN ADDITION TO THIS stuff from facebook, I would also like to mention that Zig is quite anxious that my "beer drinking buddies" turn up, as he's got 12 kegs lined up just waiting to go into the fridge/freezer bar for when any of the 8 in there run out.
If you're not sure about coming because you don't know many people, BRING A FRIEND, OR 3! (just tell me first) I like people to feel comfortable and have a good time :D
silverai: (Default)
- I think my pants are looser o_O I'm pretty sure they're sitting lower on my hips, I'm starting to show a plumber's crack!

- Spider therapy seems to be doing good. Had a situation this morning which would normal make me jump and then be apprehensive, but instead provoked a "eh" response.

- Thank goodness for VitaminWater: Revive. Picks me up within 5 minutes and make being tired not such as issue. Mmmm, vitamin Bs

- (Me) wonders what costume she should create out of her wardrobe for next week? Yay costume parties!

- (Me) thinks today is dragging too slow for my liking. What do you mean over two hours left until we close?
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I have work sales emails to be doing, but my brain is foggy and not working properly. Also, I woke up with a mega blocked nose, have noticed a distressing tendency to breath through my mouth yesterday and today, and have had to resort to buying a scarf from the op-shop next to work this morning to stave off the dreaded tickle in throat. Plus I'm tired despite gettng enough sleep over the weekend and not staying up stupidly late. Hopefully, this is a far as it gets. It would be inconvenient to get sick right now, what with an AGM for one of my groups tonight which I always take minutes for, and needing to keep my practice up for trombone since there's a performance on this Friday.

I've lost some weight, after maintaining the same weight for at least 2 years. Nothing too major, only 2kgs or so, but I think it's maintainable and not just a quirky dip. Scales have gone fom showing me 70.9-72.9 these last years, to showing me 69.8 for 5-6 weeks, and 68.8 just this morning, although that may be an erroneous quirk. I've got at least three or four approaches to everything going on right now, so anything could be responsible. I've noticed the occasional harsh thought towards myself about food, about breaking a rule or something, and I've had to be very strict with those thoughts and remind them that it's more of a strong guideline, and I'm not being bad, I'm just being. Fullstop. And then I abruptly halt the start of a possible slide of emotions that could have started from that harsh thought. I take the same approach with the scales. I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm just trying to be more responsible with my health and maintenance, and if I happen to have lost some weight, excellent! But if the scales go up again, no biggie (very strict with my thoughts on that) as that's only a bonus and not my goal. So that stops any yoyoing emotions there...mainly because I'm honest and total with the thoughts, instead doing it only on the surface and trying to ignore the main thoughts that are underlying. Anyway, that's what I've been reflecting on about that whole thing lately.

Spider therapy is not going well. Not that it's not going well, but that I haven't been doing it. I am going to have to kick my butt and start drawing the spiders again, because the little I have done I think has been quite beneficial for me. I've noticed my thoughts take a slight nudge in a different direction. I've sort of been confronting it anyway though... I've been playing some computer games lately (hidden object games) that keep having a spider as one of the jumble of objects in the picture. I kind of see a spider there in a quick glance, and then my eyes keep sliding over it from then on and refusing to look at it. So every so often I stop and force myself to look at the picture of the spider, and acknowledge every thing that's going on. Very confronting. Then I allow my eyes to slide over it and not acknowledge it for a while again before repeating the procedure.

Ugh, foggy brain. Guilt over not doing the emails, but lacking the clarity needed for them. I've done a few already, and left the slightly trickier ones. But man my typing is suffering, and I've had to proof-read even this entry several times, as I keep noticing errors. and my thoughts are so scattered.

I saw the Moscow Circus two Saturdays ago. It was awesome, for many reasons. I found the costuming to be humerous...it was all neon and sparkles, with eighties colours and cuts, like a bad eighties dream. Hilarious. The acts were pretty good too, I''m sure to tell you all about it if you ask, but I've told enough people already that I feel no compulsion to type it out here.

Hm. lunchtime now. Wonder if food will help, although breakfast surely didn't. So hard to figure out how food affects my bloodsugar, it never seems to be consistent. Enough rambling, food now.
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This morning I woke up, dozed a bit, woke up again. Then I realised that it was fairly bright, and that I had forgotten to set my alarm last night. Whups! Upon checking the clock, everything was fine. I usually set my alarm early enough that it's fantastic if I get out, but allows for up to 40mins snooze if I'm excessively sleepy. I woke up right on the end of the 40mins time. Whoot!

So then I get ready and leave in fairly good time, only to get stuck behind an oversize swimming pool, followed by powerline works, followed by bunching up on the freeway caused by a truck stopped in one lane, followed by crappy traffic. Hilarious that I avoided being late due to no alarm, only to be a bit late anyway due to traffic. Luckily only about 5 minutes late, given that I've got the keys and we had two customers and one service customer almost as soon as the shop opened.
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Public holiday this Monday. It's that magical time when I get to experience what a normal weekend is like, when I get two whole days off in a row. So far I haven't got much planned, and I'm liking it that way, especially since mid to end of October is packed, and next weekend is booking up too. I do know that I will need to sacrifice my precious do-nothing-time to edit an essay - something that I'm good at and don't mind too much while doing, but does suck away my time and is boring to get into and do. I'll no doubt play Batman Arkham Asylum on the Xbox some more. I may even be able to have the time and inclination at the same time Zig is free to maybe fit a dirt bike ride in. Hoorah! I will also need to draw some more spiders...

Spider therapy gives me the heebie jeebies. I draw three quick sketches the first time, and two quick sketches the next time. Picking up the book the second time with drawings already in it also gave me the heebie jeebies. It is interesting to note my heebie jeebie reflex growing as each drawing get closer to completion, then how it sort of resets to a lower level and starts growing again with the next drawing. I've processed through a lot of spider stuff over the years, mostly with the real life things. Still scare me, and prolonged exposure or being too close when they move sets me into fear mode. But nevertheless, a lot better than before. The heebie jeebie stuff that I get from drawings, pictures, and the knowledge such stuff exists around me...that hasn't been addressed. So I guess that's the stuff that I'm dealing with now. I've only just thought of that since I've started these drawings and experienced it though.

On the note of Batman Arkam Asylum, I'm really enjoying it. Batman is fantastic. Mark Hamill does the voice of Joker apparently, at least imdb.com says so. Me? I'm actively listening out for it, and I still find it hard to believe. You hear Joker's voice a lot, he's the main archvillian, and so his voice adds a lot to the game. He's really quite awesome at it. I'm even slightly more inclined to agree that a FPS style game isn't necessarily crap on a console. Prince of Persia 4 was definitely better on the PC, the mouse was invaluable in getting the camera angle just right for jumping to the right places, whereas the camera angle mover on the xbox pissed me off. However Batman doesn't jump in this game, and the camera angle doesn't snap back to annoying places when you don't want it to. So I would say it's possibly better on the xbox than the PC, although I haven't tried the PC version.

At some point I should plant some lavender and rosemary, if I ever want to be able to have a decent chunk from my own garden to use at my wedding. Not sure where to plant it though, plus it'll take a bit of physical effort, and I haven't had a lot of physical effort spoons lately. So far I'm still relying on the gardens of friends and family. Not too worried, rosemary and lavender are both quite common. Speaking of wedding, I've found out that I should definitely be able to get the dress I'm thinking of and the bridesmaid dress for $1200 together, which is about the budget I gave it. If I shop around, I might even be able to get a shirt made for the male bride attendant in the same budget too :D This is important when the total budget you've set for yourself is $5000. The partial breakdown of "must haves" is currently $1000 for food and drink, $1200 for clothes on the bride's side, and $500 for a celebrant. That's $2700 used up already! I've hashed and rehashed the budget many times though, and $5000 is still definitely a workable budget. For those who are keeping track (which is none of you ;) ) it is now 624 days to go, according to my igoogle countdown timer.

BTW, essay person, can I get that by Saturday afternoon? Then I get a choice about how I want to arrange my time to do it between Sunday and the rest of Saturday.

(no subject)

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 02:19 pm
silverai: (Default)
Balingup medieval fair was fun, a good time was had, and I bought a gorgeous new fairy.


I received a gorgeous book through the mail yesterday, called "How to Draw and Paint Fairyland". It is pretty, inspiring, and has excellent practical techniques listed in a quick, approachable way. People are welcome to come for tea and gaze through it. So, while I'm flipping through the book at work, I come across a picture of a spider. Apparently people think they have something to do with fairyland *heh*. It gave me an idea of how to work some more on my phobia of spiders: buy a special artbook, and then draw and paint spiders. The whole thought of it make my skin crawl with the heebie jeebies, but I have resolved to do it. My mind has already been trying to shirk it, pointing out that my skin will crawl the entire time I'm doing the activity, plus make me afraid of everything inckuding my own shadow right up to bedtime, with possible nightmares. Plus the thought of having a book of spiders anywhere in my house makes me shudder. But I think it will help, I have the feeling it will help, and I am determined to go through with it. Maybe I'll start on the weekend though, when there'll be more daylight before bedtime after I finish the session. (ps. before you start pointing out logical reasons why I should not be afraid of spiders, just remember that logicality has nothing to do with phobias.)

Have booked to go see the Moscow Circus in a few weeks. I've only been to the circus once, when I was small, of which I have vague memories of tigers or lions or something. I don't count Cirque du Soleil as the circus, that's a beast of its own. Going with just my dad, which is cool, I don't remember the last time I went to something with just dad and I. Popcorn will be bought, for full authenticity of the circus experience.

I've been reading "Wicked", by Gregory Maguire. It's about the Wicked Witch of the West. Don't you know, she's not really evil, she has just been misrepresented. I'm finding the book fascinating, and am a little over half-way currently.







Stuff.


Eh.

(no subject)

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 11:43 am
silverai: (Default)
Feeling better today, although my stomach is still giving me mixed signals. Last night after I went home, I cracked out a bottle of wine, discovered some good music through a chance facebook link that I then YouTubed lots (Rollins Band), and chilled out. Then Zig came home a little earlier than I was expecting, so I got some snuggling too. Plus I've cancelled a few things from my calendar of things to do, so it's not quite as stupidly packed full as it was.

I saved the hard drive with bad sectors from my computer, planning to pull it apart for curiosity's sake, however I discovered it did not have the typical screw types. So it's been sitting there for months waiting for me to think of bodgy ways to open it. Yesterday I discovered that Paul had some funky kind of screwdrivers called "torx", which he has for Xbox fixing, and the torx 8 screwdriver fits in the hard drive screws! I told Zig last night about my good news, and the rotter said that he had had torx screwdrivers for ages. *heh* I brought the hard drive into work today anyway, since Paul expressed an interest in the innards. I'll pull it apart later this afternoon.

I was shocked to discover yesterday that my mobile usuage for last month was double my usual steady monthly usuage. My mobile bill was also four times as much as it usually is. I spent ages on the phone to the bill people regarding the ridiculously high bill and hashed it out with them, and half of that bill has been wiped out as not my problem due to various factors, but the bill is still twice my normal amount due to my calling hours being double the normal amount. I suppose it's a good thing that the bill was so ridiculously huge, although at the time it just added stress, because it made me call them when I otherwise probably wouldn't have and I've now changed my phone plan to be just $10 extra a month for a whole lot more value. It means if my larger usuage continues (and I have a feeling it probably will) then it will be fine and won't cost me any extra like it did this time around.

October 31st is on a Saturday this year, which is kinda cool. Unfortunately that doesn't clarify anything with my annual Halloween party, as it is possible my band may choose to put on a performance that night somewhere. I'll probably know for sure a few weeks in advance one way or the other. But since most people expect my party around that time anyway, and most people operate on only a few weeks notice for parties, I guess that doesn't really affect anything either way. All good then. It's definitely getting to be time for another dress-up party, whether it's on the proper Halloween date or not. I guess I'll probably dress-up with something for the Balingup medieval fair, maybe that will temporarily sate my dress-up urge?

I have another appointment regarding contact lenses tonight. They feel weird - due to the optometrist discovering stigmatisms at my last eye check, the shape of the lens is now slight different to compensate. Usually when you look around, the eye moves, and then the lenses move a bit later to sit on the right spot again. That doesn't matter as much with normal lenses, but with stigmatism lenses the effect is a bit disconcerting. Really, all that means is I probably won't wear contact lenses at all during normal times. I'm mainly getting them for when I'm playing music, and that's all looking in one fairly small area, with less big movements of the eyes, so the contacts will still be good for that. I do prefer my glasses normally anyway, it just would have been good to have the option occasionally, like for dirt bike riding and stuff.

The wedding date is less than two years away now. According to my google homepage countdown, it's 681 days away. I guess I should make a move on decisions and think about starting to book some things, like a celebrant. Then again, June is an off-peak time for weddings, so wedding type people probably won't be as booked up this far it advance like they could be for peak dates. Plus I'm still flip-flopping on some decisions which have sort of been made but sort of not, like the location maybe being Bindoon or not. But should I get a local person to do the dress and other bridal party stuff (which I've researched and costed as being decently priced, not wedding priced), or use it as a flimsy excuse to take myself to an exoctic asian locale and get my dress made overseas, which would be fun and would only cost a few hundred more overall. Decisions decisions! They can wait for some un-scheduled future date. *heh*

(no subject)

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 12:24 pm
silverai: (Default)
I'm feeling stressed, down, sooky, and so-forth currently for the last few days. I will attempt to not let that drag down this post though.

I had a fabulous day on Sunday, I had the world on a string and everything went so well. Details shall not be gone into cos I can't be bothered, but it was certainly a high note :D

Lessee. Last Rush Hour band performance was good. I've bought new extra comfy shoes so that standing up for ages while playing the trombone will be even easier next time. We have two new shows coming up; another at the Charles Hotel on August 29th Saturday with a theme of "Heroes & Heroines", and one mostly organised with the venue with details still needing to be sorted on that's most likely September 4th Friday at the Embassy Ballroom in Carlisle. Friday is crap because of work the next day, but good because it means Dad might be able to come watch, yay!

Zig's birthday party was fabulous, with good food, good beer, good company. It kicked on until 4am, which is impressive given our usual record for 2am. Oh, I haven't put it here yet, but the eight keg beer fridge has been moved inside, with a very swish jarrah bartop created out of floorboards and the taps coming out the top so you don't even have to lift the lid now. The prettiness of it was the condition on which it was allowed to come inside, and the condition has been filled rather excellently. I gave Zig engraved beer mugs for his present straight after he finshed putting the bar top on the fridge (it's really a freezer, but kept at fridge temperatures) and he pronounced them "awesome". Can't be stuffed giving full details, ask if you want to know sometime.

I'm going to drive down to the Balingup Medieval Fair. It's on August 22-23 (sat-sun). I might look into going down saturday afternoon and staying over, since there and back in one day would be quite a mission! But not an impossible mission, and has its own good points. Decision will be made sometime.

My brain is scattered and I'm hungry with a stomach that doesn't want me to put food in it. And Zig won't be home tonight at all, which is no good given my current stressed sooky mood. But I'm looking forward to eating banana sago pudding tonight. Might have to not eat much dinner though to be able to eat the yummy dessert, since my stomach isn't wanting much in it. But yummy yummy dessert will be eaten, for sure!

Edit: Zig just called to let me know he won't be going away overnight now. But that's because of dramas. He was going away with his mother, but Watson (cat) has been getting sicker and sicker and she finally had to get him put down this morning. That cat was minimum eleven years old, since he's been around the whole time Zig and I have been together. So it's like family that has died. So I will still go out for dinner tonight like I feel constrained to do because of social commitments and circumstances, and he will go keep her company at her place. But I get to huggle him tonight while sleeping at least. and I get banana sago pudding.

(no subject)

Thursday, June 18th, 2009 01:04 pm
silverai: (Default)
Let's see what with have in this brain of mine for updating.

So yes, I've been feeling good about who I am and what I'm doing in life lately. I feel like I "fit" exactly where I should be at this time, I'm comfortable with myself as a person, as a female 27 year old, as a sales person in a computer shop. It's a ...well, for lack of better words, it's just a good feeling. However, I've been starting to struggle a little in the last week or two. Work has been getting busier with the end of financial year, stretching my multitasking abilities a bit when a big rush happens, and requiring me to stay back after we close to get things completed. My social commitments are quite full, with two bands having a weekly practise (Tuesdays and Wednesdays), and Fridays in the foreseeable future being devoted to helping mum organise various things. Then add onto that various band performances, any shopping that needs to be done, and any friend interactions.... There's been a few times when I haven't interacted with Zig at all for 72 hours, apart from sleeping next to him in bed. I'm stretching myself a bit thin without enough blah time to myself or time with Zig to help rejuvenation. A few more weeks and end of financial year will be over at least, however work will still stay somewhat busy as many businesses who have already spent this tax year often wait for the new financial year before they start spending again. I still feel good though! The overall feeling is one of contentedness, it's just the body struggling to keep up, I'm very tired when I crawl into bed.

The "big band" I'm in, called "Rush Hour", played a gig at the Charles Hotel last Saturday. I had friends come along and they said it went well and sounded good. The music is fun to play! We had enough numbers that the Charles Hotel asked us to come back again for another Saturday night. This is your cue to enter Saturday July 11th into your calendars to be at the Charles Hotel for awesomeness! There will be a 60's theme, and people are encouraged to dress up, including the band members. We play the song "Soul Bossanova" which is irresistible, you gotta groove to it! I can arrange pre-paid tickets for $12 (and I get a small kick back if I sell 10 or more in total), or it's $15 on the door. I highly recommend booking a table for dinner, as that way you get delicious food (ooh, their mushroom risotto is good) and you can also get a table reserved in the band area so you don't have to fight for good seats later.

Zig had one or two friends coming around for homebrew beer last Saturday while I was gone for band, and he decided he'd put the spit on and invite an extra person or two. Somehow it exploded into 6-9 people all enjoying good food and beer, and kicking on until about 2am (I got home at 12:45am-ish). Not bad for an impromptu affair. Wonder if he'll do something for his birthday in July, since this worked so well?
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