Home Alone

Friday, September 21st, 2012 10:05 am
silverai: (Default)
[personal profile] silverai
About a month or so ago, Zig announced he was planning to go bushwalking for two or three days. So this week he took Thursday and Friday off work, and started out on the Bibbulman track from Mundaring Weir yesterday morning, planning to be picked up from Brookton Highway on Saturday evening. I wasn't too worried about him going alone because 1) he had a phone with good reception and GPS, and 2) Zig is resourceful. I was going to miss him, but I was also looking forward to some time at home alone. Last night, he called to say he was going to cut it short (the track had more 'hills for no reason' than he thought it would) and would get picked up this evening instead.

I found myself unsettled. I found myself less able to enjoy the time alone I still had left, instead dwelling on the time to come I would miss out on. I'm finding myself resentful. It's annoying to feel this way, but I feel this way anyway. Time alone occasionally can be rejuvenating, and I had settled into expecting it for two nights, only to have it, as it were, snatched away from me. I hadn't quite realised how important time at home alone was - before he left I was more missing him in advance, although there was still looking forward to time alone a bit.

Zig doesn't go out that much, and I'm often with him when he does, or out somewhere else myself instead. Time alone at home doesn't happen that often for me. I think I'm going to encourage him to be absent from the house for a couple of hours at night sometimes, visit his friends or family or something. Because clearly, if him coming home early has affected me in this way, it's something that matters more than I thought.
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