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[personal profile] silverai
I've been shorting myself of sleep a bit lately. I could rectify this by going to bed at the proper time, but I spend so much time doing stuff, that when I get home I just wanna unwind for a bit before going to bed. Which perpetuates the problem of not having enough sleep, coping less well than I should therefore, so taking more time to myself before going to bed, etc. I feel ripped off going to bed early, but right now I'm going to bed too late over and over.

Can you tell I really really would like a nap right now? I'm a little overtired. Thought I'd write a rambly LJ post instead, and complain about how tonight will be an even later night due to band. I've decided I will be quitting that band in April. I told the head guy that I would be quitting after the performance we are committed to in end of March, and then after that I'd be focusing on being responsible to my own well-being instead of committing fully to the band.

I'm going to Melbourne in April! Flights have been booked and everything. Get to see an interesting city and catch up with a dear friend of mine. Part of me is all like "yes, I'll get a break then!" but a wiser part of me knows that I'll end up doing lots of awesome things and be wiped out when I come back still. I need to severely cut back on my social commitments for a while - which is a bloody sight harder that it sounds. Where does the week go? I blink and all my weekly commitments are happening again, and then awesome once-off things are happening on the days off which I don't wanna miss, and boom, I've overloaded myself again. Dropping this band will help a lot with that, once less "have to" commitment recurring every single damn week.

I love what I do, but I wish it was easier to be a mini-hermit crab at will occasionally. All these wants and expectations and once-off oppurtunities and everything. I love what I do, but sometimes I wonder why the hell I do it. It's stressful, it's straining, but it's fun and awesome and wonderful.

Ok, rant over now. I gotta resume putting stock away.


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